Lotion Recipe

Ingredients:

1 Medium Size Dirty Cup with yesterday's leftover coffee
1 Sink with no soap
1 Squeeze of Lotion bottle with aloe vera

Filling
1 tsp of granulated coffee
1 tsp of sugar


Spill the leftover coffee into the sink. Squeeze a drop of lotion (to taste) into the Dirty cup. Rub it in for 30 seconds, with gentle swooping movements to ensure the whole cup is covered in moisturizing lotion. Smell to ensure it smells like Aloe vera and all bacteria are drowned in moisturizer. Now rinse under cold water, add the filling and mix to ensure consistency.

Voila - your drink is ready.

I think Debbie's exact words were: I'd rather have lotion than bacteria… mmmmm… oh wise owl.

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Hmmm. We leave Debbie with her coffee wondering why it seems to have a distinct slimy aloe vera aftertaste.

A couple of minutes earlier, we caught Phil patiently waiting by the coffee machine. Phil unfortunately as we've noticed from before, has this unusual luck of having to refill the beans and/or water everytime he goes for his morning pick me up. But today seems different, with his coffee cup halfway filled, he was rubbing his hands in glee complemented with a huge grin from ear to ear.

Then the machine lets out a gurgling noise. Two beeps later, the screen says "Water Tank Empty".

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!......" Phil shouts to the heavens high up above.

(I'll let you imagine what happens next.)