Breadmaker

Jane's been having trouble with her breadmaker lately.

Her baking's lately come aground, ending up with stunted loaves instead of the fluffy, wheaty, and nutty loaves she's usually familiar with. "Pudgy" as she described it in her own words. (Same word I'd use if I was to describe Jared out to somebody.)

But her recipe's perfect! Passed on from generation to generation, from grandmother to daughter to grand- daughter. She's absolutely miffed.

"What could make this happen? It's supposed to be foolproof." she though. But in the spirit she's in, she decides to give it another go. She puts on her bakers hat and looks intently at the instructions on the ready mix packet. She reads it slowly this time to ensure that she's followed it to the letter.

It usually takes a couple of hours for a baking cycle to complete, so she calls it a day and leaves it for the night, deeply hoping to to be greeted by the aroma of a freshly baked loaf in the morning.

Her dreams of flying croissants and paninis were rudely interrupted as she wakes up to an odd sound coming from the kitchen. Alarmed that it might be an unwanted guest, she quickly puts her robe on at the same time grabbing the baseball bat she keeps under her bed and investigates the ruckus.

She sneaks into the kitchen and was aghast! No, the sound wasn't coming from a homeless man rummaging through her fridge, but rather, her breadmaker. Like some weird Russian torture device, the bread paddles seem to be gouging her poor dough and beating them down mercilessly out of schedule.

"No wonder they were coming up undersized." she sighed as she dragged herself to bed, knowing too well that her lunch tomorrow will be quite short of her expectations.

Memoirs

Just to add what Rayloc missed. Again, a disclaimer, the dialogue may or may not happened. I was suffering from severe mental lapses as my dried out veins were crying for a Coke shot...

I remember hearing about Jane getting to see Madeleine's new baby during the weekend.

"Was he cute?" Michelle asked.

(I caught myself before I laughed. It's one of those questions where there's only one appropriate answer… e.g. "do these jeans make me look fat?")

"Yes he was" Jane said without missing a beat.

"Was he huge?" Rayana mentions "The baby was a couple of weeks overdue, so he must have been big right?"

"Just the the right size." Jane says "Not too big, not too small, but juuuust right."

(Which coincidentally what Papa bear and Momma bear said when they saw Baby Bear.)

"And he's got such long fingers." she added.

"Oh he's going to be a pianist!" Rayana/Michelle exclaims.

(either that or a pickpocket, I imagine. j/k)

Which led us to the topic where Rayana says that he can't imagine Jared pushing a pram. Which further compounded our supposition as Jared started doing his austrian-german-governator impression. "Look at mine Ammms!" as he imaginatively pumps the pram up and down. Yep, do us a favour and don't have kids Jared. Hee hee.

"I mean it's so hard to imagine anybody having kids. Look at Madeleine for instance." Rayana says.

(Michelle and I gave each other a look and directed our eyeballs to the pot that was calling the kettle black.)

Which unfortunately she saw, as she flicks me on the forehead which made me stop my eye rolling for a bit.

Then it was books, particularly Memoirs of a Geisha, and its movie counterpart. Rayloc earlier mentioned that it's sometimes hard for books to capture powerful moments that only the big screen can. Like how the movie was able to portray a man falling off a bike after the geisha giving him a quick glance. Now, I haven't read the book yet so I have no idea how she did it, but I must say that's some pretty powerful stuff. Telekinesis? Or a sharp stick? I can only surmise.

Or how the film was able to capture how a geisha walks - real small steps, quick and butterfly like. Although I agree, I think it all depends on how the author writes it, my imagination usually works out for me if I get some hints from the author - as I do visualize well. If the author says, "The geisha quickly walked like a drunken sailor with a near bursting bladder." then I'd imagine small quick steps and butterfly like… although compounded with a strut and perspiration as he looks for the nearest latrine.

Now it was in the middle of this heated conversation that I get the chance to see Rayana's bubbly nature… literally. She thought it was an excited moth she was brushing off but it was more of her exuberance trying to escape and float away.

Anyway, the conversations jumped from one topic to another (read Rayloc's posting for more details) which finally ended up on how it was difficult to find a good agency for recrtuitment lately.

Men in Pyjamas

"Beep beep beep beep beep" said the smoke alarm as it roused everybody in the dorm room.

It was a sight to be seen as the students gathered out in the front lot with nothing but the clothes they wore during their sleep.

Everybody was getting cranky. Imagine having been forced out your bed on a frosty saturday morning.

Jared, was one of them. he was feeling a bit uneasy though as the students whined and showed their disapproval with remarks on how they're going to rough up the person who activated the alarm. He casually walked, and whistled, all the while keeping an eye on his room which was visible from the front lot.

After a long winded room to room inspection, the firefighters finally found the cause.

It would appear that somebody's fin heater was left out on the hallway. Why? The dust it's collected from unuse caused a billow of smoke which caused the resident to panic and push it out the hall.

Guess who it was?

Lack of memory

Michelle: Watch what you say. You know where it all goes...

She means this blog of course.

Chris has asked Jane if that's the same bread she's eating. You know, the bird food one.

Jane: Yeah, but it's not dodgy. If i make it myself, it's dodgy, but this one is not dodgy.

She points at the whole at the bottom of the sandwich made by breadmaker paddles. Chris giggles at this making Jane roll her eyes again.
I personally think she couldn't wait till lunch and decided to eat the bread inside out.

We couldn't talk about the news much, as it all revolved around the toddler who was dried in a dryer and it made Jane all uncomfortable. You could just see her bread getting squashed and tuna squeezing out.

And we couldn't talk about movies, cos all movies we watched were either combat movies from the 80s or "after-book-ones", which as a rule, no one is supposed to like.

We talked a bit about lamb and mint sauce and mint sauce without lamb and lamb without mint sauce. But that's pretty much it.


However, I quite liked the pre-lunch conversation with Vicki, which i cannot disclose if i value my life. "And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. "


Chris, help, lunch finished 5 minutes ago and my memory has already betrayed me. Except for blowing bubbles when i talked i don't remember a thing anymore.

Like a thief that comes at night.

That's how my professor used to describe death's unpredictability - which I experienced firsthand.

I just learned that my neighbor, Ian, has passed on. Gone at 64, which is a bit too young in my opinion, he's survived by his partner, Laurie and 3 of his adult sons. It's sad as my family already shared a bond with them. They're usually there to help out with odd jobs, there to greet us whenever we come by, was there to share treats, swap stories and exchange garden veggies.

What I would have given to say goodbye. You will be missed Ian.

*tear

Catch Up.

Just to get everybody on track with what's happening, as we (including YOU rayloc!) haven't been diligent with the updates.

In the last 3 weeks:
- Tony has finally gone back to his mothership after his 2 year mission, seeking out new worlds and species...
- Margaret R jumping the fence on to greener pastures (Her farewell pressie was an 8 foot fishing rod that Jared picked)
- Michael and Bridget accepting their offers to join a bigger corporate machine.
- More developers leaving (equates to a lot of leaving cards signed and cash extorted by the local gang mob)
- BI weekly roster starting.
- Whinging from Rayloc.
- The Carnivale! (Another awesome company party - with pole dancers, drunk clowns, body painting and rides!)
- Transformers!!! (enough said)
- Madeleine giving birth (baby boy)
- The IT Awards night - which was awesome by the way. (You guys should seriously check out Vicki and Rayana's acting prowess)
- Cathy and her scheduling adventures.
- More whinging from Rayloc.
- Paul (the new guy - who happens to hate the All Blacks) finally gives in to the norm and brings some cakes.
- Rob's wife giving birth (baby boy)
- A contagion of some sort affecting the ladies subconscious making them purchase designer jeans that would never fit.

Whew! Did I forget anything worth writing? Feel free to add.

Now on to the present....

A beautiful day!

Came back home at 11:00pm last night, having enjoyed the show, the embarassing movie with me in it, and a mouthful of crème brule. Why a mouhtful? Because I was trying to escape the mundane presentation and we couldn't get desserts until we were properly brainwashed on how proud we should feel to work where we work.

Taxi driver has been very nice and told me pleasant stories of people throwing up in his car after aforementioned parties. I quite enjoyed hearing the stories of his washing machine and the dryer that he has put on the curb side. Strangely enough no one took them, so he had to put them back inside his house. At least his daughter got a new washing machine now and wouldn't have to do laundry at their house. On the other hand the dryer is branded by some girls' school name, so I agree that not many people may want to use the dryer now… After all it's been branded and it's quite a big industrial size one.

And I'm sure he got home as fast as he could once he dropped me to save the car from people from our company's party. And what a party indeed.. Several times I tried to suspend a yawn in between of my cynical remarks and stares at everyone who was presenting, mentally forcing them to speed up… It felt like a slo mo movie…


I got home and got beautiful news to finish up the night. My beautiful car has been broken into and a beatiful window smashed to beautiful bits all over my beautiful upholstery.

They couldn't get in, however, as when my car is locked from the outside, it can only be open from the outside. It simply doesn't like to think outside the square (or the shape of the car). So a poor person was trying really hard to pull the door open, gave up, tried to put the back seat down, so he could at least rummage in the trunk, but even that was useless. My hubby is good with packing stuff neatly into the boot, especially when the stuff is beer.

So they left with nothing, but the joy of hearing glass shatter under their powerful hands.

But not to worry, I fell asleep with no other thoughts but to fall asleep and finish the beautiful day accompanied with beautiful snoring.

Dance with me

Rayana: Are you going to Technology Awards evening?
Chris in a voice that mostly dogs can hear: I want to, but I have nothing to wear...

Strange how there's a stereotype for women that says the exact same thing.

I suggested a white shirt and a pair of black trousers. Surely, a man could own a white shirt and a pair of ironed black trousers? ok, skip the ironed part, just black.

Jared: So there's, like, going to be food?

I nod while chewing hard on a bagette i prepared the night before.

Jared: How about drinks?

Still nodding from a question before i look at him...

Jared: What else is there to do?
Rayana: What else do you need? There will also be dancing

All eyes turn to Jared. Chris exclaims: Hey, you'd love it, cos you take ballroom dancing lessons!!!
Jared: It's a bit hard wihout a partner, since it's a partner dance. And really it doesn't make much sense, when your partner doesn't know how to dance.
Chris: Why don't you ask Rayana to be your dance partner.

I almost choke on a piece of cucumber trying to suppress something between utmost fear and laughter

Jared calmly: I would, the problem is that I'm used to leading. Knowing Rayana, she probably will grab me and lead, cos you know... she's Rayana


I'm not a bad dancer.. I could lead a group around the floor and no one would complain a bit. It's not suprising, considering i probably threatened them into it.

Fines.

"Beer Fine!" Jared shouts out, having caught one of the BA's raising an issue with him by mistake.

Then again, I would understand, as there are at least three Jareds in the building - all whose last names sound phonetically identical.

Now the beer fine method was concocted by some bored employee way back eons ago (probably around the same time when Moses brought them tablets down). A time when a lot of people's mobiles disrupted meetings with their incessant ringing. It slowly evolved to almost anything you could pin a colleague for from turning up late for meetings, to calling the beer sheriff an evil witch.

Having had a penalty dry spell for sometime, Jared gleefully struts down the pod where we keep score. He starts writing down Tanja's name, but ends up with fate's cruel twist. Perhaps it's the anticipation of downing that cool cold bottle (or his mom dropping him too many times on the head) that made him spell it out as "Tanya" instead.

And that's a beer fine for you Jared.