Vacation

- You're so skinny, you need to run under the shower to get wet, - says Jared to Chris while imitating a stick figure with long hair.

Chris giggles his usual way and says: Na-hah! How did you know?

Coming from a helium baloon with legs and a pear shaped me, it's not really that offensive to Chris, but still, we're all extremely jealous when it comes to Chris stuffing his mouth with pies and deep-fried desserts and not gaining an ounce, even on his earlobes.

Our conversations lately (for the last 2 months) mostly evolve around Jared's upcoming vacation.
- Good morning Jared!
- I have 11 days, 13 hours, 44 minutes, 8 seconds left till my vacation.
- What's for lunch?
- I'm up to single digits now: 9 days, 7 hours, 54 minutes, 27 seconds. Oh no, wait.. 23 seconds left till my vacation.

There was a point when we simply stopped growling at the countdown and gave in.
- How long till your vacation now Jared? (*please let it be 1 day, please…)
He consults his blackberry.
- 9 days, 5 hours, 21 minutes, 44 seconds

To have a bit more diversity to our conversation Tracy asked Jared if he plans to get married while on his vacation, which is now 8 days, 6 hours, 11 minutes, 58 seconds away.

- Nah! Hroom-hroom, yum-yum. No time. We are going on tours which will take us from Rome to Paris to Dubrovnik to Egypt to ahem (here he forgot the names of the other places he's visiting) and there'll barely be time to take photos and we'll have to take them on the fly.

(* I try to imagine Jared in slow motion trying to take a picture while running sideways: "Noooo-ooo")

- Buuuhhh-ng!


I think this space deserves a pause in the blog, as this was the sound Tracy made trying to imitate the "wrong answer" beep. It sounded more like a cry of a hurt elephant that got bitten by a lion than anything else, but she was proud of it until we burst out laughing spitting our chewed food everywhere.

- Trace! This is the worst Bing sound ever!
- In fact I think this is the worst Buuuhhh-ng sound I ever heard, Tracy admitted through her elephant tears wiping the lion of her back.

She is now officially the worst Bing-er in this company.

Overall, we agreed we will simply have to fill in silences when Jared's gone with things like politics, environment, recipes and other unavoidable gossip. And ask Tracy to never ever try to replicate any non-human sounds in public.