Hug me

Today's lunch was on the 4th floor, the finance geeks, accountants, portugese people, hugging people and us: Tracy, Chris, Jared and I. While we were discussing the education levels of some of the people present and the ignorance of the rest there were at least 4 hugs given in the kitchen. What's the deal with that? Why isn't it a rule on level 3?

Jared kindly recommended his view on the issue: "A minimum of two hugs per day must be given in BI with each hug given to a different person. If the KPIs for hugging are not met, this must go on the performance review of the individual with severe penalties. Contractors must do free time for every hug missed or misgiven and the pain caused by not adhering to the rules."

Now this might have been the smartest thing he had ever said, but that's beside the point.

Tracy aka T-Rex, being the communications specialist has volunteered to communicate this new policy to the rest of the team. And some of us simply can't wait for it to be a new policy, so that people would stop telling him off for constantly walking into them, right Christ?

I mean, the person just cannot walk straight. Period. The gravitational rules can be proven on him. If you are the closest walking person, he will eventually end up on your feet, if you are lucky and if you are not, well, let's just hope there's a soft spot on the ground next to you. Or worse yet, you might end up carrying him till another person is in his gravitational field.

Any way.. Jared started talking about his trip (my eyes don't roll any further since I met him) again. And this time it revolved around food. He still doesn't know the country I'm from and thinks it's Abercrombie and Fitch and for some other reason only known to Jared, he thinks it's in Egypt.

Jared: "Can you eat food from stalls in Egypt? Because we cannot eat food from stalls in Egypt. Our doctor said we shouldn't eat food from stalls in Egypt."
Tracy stopped chewing on her freshly made sandwiches with chicken and tomato and asks: "Why not?"
Jared: "Well, we are only there for 10 days and I Don't really want to spend it in the toilet." (Actually, he used a completely different word here, but considering this is a family-friendly place we will beep those out).
Rayana: "What is the joy of travelling places if you cannot enjoy the local food and only eat at the hotel restaurants?"
Jared: "Well, what else can we do?"

We can just see those photos. Jared in Egypt - running to the toilet. Jared in Egypt - walking out of the toilet. Jared in Egypt - I don’t even wanna go there.

T-rex: "You should be used to food poisoning by now with Kate's cooking."

I'd like to make a point here that T-Rex said this, not me.. Just keep that in mind when you get to the end.

Jared also mentioned he wanted to get exit row seats in the airplane. Knowing Jared I just couldn't help myself: "Why would YOU need extra leg room?" and all hell broke loose.

I got called names by T-Rex, some pretty, some not-so-much, but the fact remains - he's not the tallest of creatures.

This is when we found out how many languages she could speak.

Tracy in English: I speak many languages
Tracy in Maori: Pakanini (Jared translated this, apparently it's a mix between a stomach and panini)
Tracy in French: Pale voo fla-fla
Tracy in Spanish: Ola and something else that sounded more like the previous maori expression
Tracy in Italian: Ciao

And then they call me mean. It took all my energy to even try and suppress the endless flow of comments that just kept forcing themselves out of my mouth. I promised to be nice till 4:00pm, and it's now 4:18 pm. So out it goes.
Thank goodness for blogs!