Mishap

Office highlight for the Day:

Tracy butting heads with the mobile whiteboard.

Tune in next week for more of National Geographic's "Extreme Jurassic Mating Rituals".

Who is Derek McDreamy?

Almost four days gone, just came back from a sickie.
A lot of things have happened which rather surprised me.
My inbox was full of spam and banter,
including Wob's adventures which skipped another chapter.

Logging onto my machine I was dreading,
as my inbox, I'm sure was overflowing.
All messages deleted from Rayana "The Spammer" was easy,
but what caught my eye were emails about McDreamy.

It seems that wob managed to meet up with a mate,
ending up on Subway for his very first date.

The name is Derek, Derek McDreamy.
An irish perhaps? Or a scottish laddie?
I first thought upon hearing that Wob's finally come out of the closet,
to reveal to the world his innermost secret.
But was I mistaken, that just like Sam,
Derek's a lady - far, far from being a man.

Apologies Sam, as I know you'll be reading.
As you know that names are a bit misleading.
That didn't stop me though from thinking back,
that I originally thought you were a cat.

But let's focus more on Wob's new vice,
Which led him to ask us lot for desperate advice.
"How should I impress her? or "What sort of flowers should I bring?",
to "What type of shirt would be most appealing".
"Not the pity sex shirt" Rayana was saying.
"It doesn't matter, you'll never get any." was what I was thinking.

So who is she?
Who's this new girl who just happened to be?
It would've been nice if somebody gave us a clue,
on how she was tricked to hang out with our dude.

Blonde? or black flowing hair?
A pimple perhaps or some facial hair?
I beg thee wob, at least get a picture snapped.
Be careful when you do it though, as you might get slapped.
The last thing you need is a warrant to serve,
To be forever branded as a shutterbug perv.

From the last post we know that the first date was a marvel.
As he got a peck on the cheek for his trouble.
I'm sure at this point he got to show off his powers,
By turning bright red and sweating under the covers.

Now I can't wait what the dreaded second date would entail,
First base? Second base? or leg between his tails?
All in all, I'm sure he'll end this date a marchin'.
Even if he seems like a 27 year old virgin.

As I come to the end of this post.
We never got to answer what matters most.

Just who is Derek McDreamy?
A fictional character? or a monster of the sea?
You better let us know - the suspense is killing me!

Wob's adventures with Derek

As we all know by now, Sam has not forgiven Rob for his "old woman" comment (see Wob) . Since then the free morning breakfasts have stopped and so did the evening meals.

Friday night girl hunting ended before it began a week ago, when Rob met Derek McDreamy, the person of his dreams. Sam had her usual share of wine and decided to call it quits for the night as a Tuesday lunch date was established.

It was a dream come true when Derek accepted Robs offer of a date. He knew when he looked into her eyes it was love at first sight but was not sure she felt the same. How fortuitous that he had moved a month earlier to Auckland with the company that he had learned to love and respect a long time ago.

Rob has been anxiously awaiting that date, asking everyone around "should I bring a single flower?", "shall I offer to pay for drinks?", "shall we go to a casual place, or somewhere slightly classier should do for a first date?", "should I wear something different than Pity-sex t-shirt?".

When Tuesday finally arrived, he zoomed out of the door with the same speed he usually blushes when you ask him 'How is Derek?'. As he ran across the street, he looked back to ensure none of us follow him and take videos of the date.

The date continued in the dreamlike fashion, Derek made conversation that only Flavor Flav could have rivalled and dressed like a sparkle princess. They enjoyed a fine delicacy of food from Subway before having to part (lips) to go back to work. Derek obviously wanted more… Wob now knew the path of true love and only had to conquer one thing before the next date - SAM.

He came back slightly exhausted with what seemed like a permanent blush on his cheeks. "It was hard work", he said - "But it was worth it".
Then he went on about how he quite enjoyed his lunch with Derek and how it seemed like it wasn't even a date, but meeting with a close friend. ("awwwww" we all said back). He even managed a good-bye, casual peck on the cheek.

SAM (his other true love) could not be forgotten and although he admitted to thinking she was an old lady was still in love with her. How could he make the choice? How could he honour his love with each woman knowing he still had the other waiting in the wings……


As for the next date? Well, it's all up to how Sam can manage that one. We're curiously awaiting the next story.

Tune in next time when we hear more about McDreamy Derek, Sam I am and a bit of slap and tickle...

A philosophical discussion

Tim: I just love avocado
Tracy: Mmm. Avocado is the best.
Jared: Tim, does your place have a barbeque?
Tim: I have to put avocado on everything.
Tracy: Mmm.. Avocado on everything is the best.
Chris: giggle-giggle
Jared: Does your barbecue have a roaster?
Rayana: Chris, do my eyes look cross to you?
Tim: I just use avocado instead of salad dressing.
Tracy nods happily: Mmm..
Jared: Does your place have a pool too?
Rayana looks from one person to another.
Chris: giggle-giggle.
Tim wonders out loud while holding his precious avocado skin: I wonder if too much avocado is bad for you.
Tracy: mmm… too much avocado.
Jared: Is your barbecue a 6 burner?
Rayana snaps: what's with you and barbecue?
Jared: Tim's place is next to Adele's, where we are having a christmas lunch.
Chris digs in deeper into his deep-fried lunch to stop from snorting his food all over Tracy. She usually does quite a good job with it herself.
Tim: I've got a 7 burner, with roasting and no you cannot pee in my pool.
Jared: is your place about 30 minutes away from Whangarei? Cos you know, I own that land.
Rayana: Yes, he spit on it.
Tracy: Chris wanted to so much to pee in your pool.
Chris: How was that avocado?
Jared suddenly gets a different idea: Is it all right to invite your ex to th wedding?
Tracy: Why would you do that?
Chris: Umm… I don't know. Never had an ex before.
Jared: well, you know, if I was invited to her wedding.
Rayana: they probably didn't expect that you would actually show up.
Jared: yes, but everyone in my Uni group of friends is ex with someone in the same group, so it's impossible to avoid (put politely. I think his actual words were: Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees and what we do with the grease).


And this is as meaningful as our lunch conversation went today.

We're normal

Wob came back without a scratch today. Apart from shooting green sparks out of his eyes and wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm here to kill you", he seemed well and happy.

Sam forgave him and according to Wob she was so happy to see him that she had 3 glasses of wine and took him grocery shopping. She was very chatty and chatted up everyone at the checkout counter and he had to lead her away. Apparently that day they definitely looked like a happy couple. We now can see the development of a very strong relationship. While talking about it, he only had to display his superpowers once, this time turning Bright Red and flash his t-shirt at us twice.

Jared is now back also from his 4 week long holiday and he's not leaving for at least 365 days, 22 hours and 43 minutes. Trace with her 3 fingered forelimbs is working from home, so we've got a quiet area with giggling Chris, Chantal (who doesn't say much) and I (the babbler that speaks for two). No one to growl at you, or pinch you or shout "Yo-yo-yo!", so peaceful.

Jared has brought so many wonderful images of waxed body parts that no one of us dreamed of being waxed.

"Yes", he adds, "They do that too. First they push it to one side, then you scream, then they push it to the other side". But things like that are a perfect recipe for weight loss over lunch. You listen, you stop eating. We'll never look at Jared the same.

Chantal is off for her week-long cruise, stocking up on all things sea: sea-legs, sea-bands, sea-lions. One may think she'd come back as a mermaid.

Chris is gnawing at his arms crying and begging for people to take him with them. He's used up all of his vacation for his sick bed.

I simply cannot wait till end of December when I get out of this place free as a watermelon. Closer to the date I will be rolled down the stairs and the elevator lights will go off with "Overload" signs. It takes me three wobbles to get to the elevator in the first place.

Trace's desk is just as messy as when she's in the office, so all is good, all in the right place, all as it should be.

We're back in business.

The result of the previous blog

Wob Sclatero, a runaway cactus, age of 27 (not-so-old) has died today of a heart attack. Possible causes, rat poison in his morning breakfast, followed by a few knocks on the head, which he supposedly used to think before he acted.

At the time of death, neighbours heard a loud laughter coming in from Sam's room with such comments as: "Hmmppphhh.. Old".

He was survived by a Yellow GTO, 3 liter engine with no front spoiler.

Funeral arrangements were entrusted to anyone but Rayana and Chris. A mass will be celebrated at Queen Street at 5:30 am, his usual wake up time.