Taxi Adventures - Part 2

[Make sure you read the first part]

"Don't ever, ever put me in a cab with that driver again!" was what the rep on the other end of the line got told.

"In fact, I'd like to speak to somebody in charge." Jared said just to take this thing further.

"Yes sir, what can I possibly help you with?" Said the manager as he got transferred.

"I didn't like the way the last driver treated me on my way here!" Jared said with annoyance. With that, he whipped out his pda, opened his mini spreadsheet and basically outlined the reasons why he didn't like the driver.

* Wasn't very friendly.
* Was arrogant.
* Didn't like the fact that I was only a couple of minutes late.
* Didn't like my flabby body.
* Didn't like the way I was moving my man boobies.

What can the manager do but apologise, right? Then again, Jared was in his right to do so. He rarely complains except when people really gets on his nerves.

"Well just make sure you tell your employee. Right?" with as much authority as possible.

"Very well sir." said the manager professionally.

"By the way, can I make another cab booking in 5 minutes please? Thanks." He postulated.

After a couple of minutes, Jared quickly hopped on the back seat of the taxi which promptly came.

"I'm going up to Symonds St. please" he said as he buckled his seat belt.

After a couple of minutes driving, it started to dawn on him that this cab looked very, very familiar. Even the magazines that were strewn on the seat pressed on at the back of his mind.

It suddenly dawned upon him, as he looked at the driver, that it was the exact same cabbie that he had the argument with earlier. (I sh*t you not as this apparently happened.)

"Oh, motherf*!, of all the taxis why would I get this one?" he silently told himself. "And after what I told them on the phone? Sheez!."

Jared decided not inflame situation, as you'd never want to aggravate the person driving you around.

All of a sudden, the cabbie's mobile alert system gave off a distinct noise and message indicating that he cancel his current pickup.

The driver at this point really didn't realise who he picked up and was bewildered why the cancellation would take place when he's already got the fare on his back seat.

After a long pause, Jared finally said something. "Oh, I know why they're cancelling that." he said a matter-of- factly. "It's because I called in a couple of minutes ago and told them about how I was unhappy with your service earlier."

The driver suddenly went ballistic. With his mouth foaming, he grabbed the wheel with his two huge hands, leaned forward as close to the steering wheel as possible ala Collin Mcrae mode.

Now this was a cab driver you definitely wouldn't get on the back seat off - even if you were drunk, passed out, or badly had to go to use the toilet. He literally slammed on the gas as he weaved through the busy streets of Auckland like a crazed maniac on steroids.

Jared was holding on for dear life... screaming like a girl. It sounded like it was a cross between a wild boar getting slaughtered and Michael Jackson's high pitched cry should you kick him in the nuts. It's also the same sort of dinosaur sound that Tracy would make if you poked her with a very sharp stick.*

*Disclaimer : The last couple of paragraphs may or may not have happened.

But in reality, what really happened during that ride back was a long awkward silence.

Taxi Adventures

With the entire team kicked out relocating, everybody had to cope with some sort of adjustment added to their daily ritual.

Part of that adjustment's calling company sanctioned cabs to shuttle you back to the mothership. Which happens every ever so oftehn whenever you're asked to deal with the more important company people who demands your attention.

It wasn't long before 'incidents' started to happen. And like most incidents, Jared was the most likely person this would've happened to.

We sit on the 10th floor, which wasn't bad, as it gave us spectacular views of the locale. (When I say views, I meant being surrounded by towering dorm slash aparments meant to house those sleep-deprived-inebriated university students crammed into every inch of space available. The corpses resting in the underground catacombs of Paris fared much better, I say.)

I guess it all started when I noticed Jared pacing back and forth like a crazed bull from the window aisle he was conveniently 'given'. He kept peering over waiting for something which I learned later on to be a taxi cab he booked earlier. He finally went off and it wasn't after a couple of hours before we came back and heard what happened.

"Grrrrr. Those taxis are really a pain in the behind." He announced to the entire team. "I hop on my taxi and guess what happened?"

"I get this pissed off driver" he continued "who suddenly went on and on about how late I was!"

"You were supposed to be here 7 minutes ago!" The cabbie said as Jared continued his story.

He didn't know if the guy was serious or just making a passing rant. So he shrugged it off and just hopped in.

"I did look out for you." Jared says as he was putting his seatbelt on "It's just that you were parked from way beyond the road where I can't see you."

"You did not even say sorry that you were late." Seemingly oblivious to Jared's apologetic tone.

"Okay. Okay I'm sorry I didn't see you." Which was surprising as I've never heard Jared apologise.

Taxi guy says "It's too late for that now."

And that's apparently the part where you could see the steam shooting off Jared's ears (perhaps a side effect of hangi?)

"You 'people' cost be about 25 minutes a week just waiting for you after an agreed time." cab guy answers irritably.

That was probably the stick that broke the camels back as Jared decided to match his wits with the driver... which probably didn't amount to much considering the lack of brain matter on one of the participants.

Exhibit A :


But I had no doubt that Jared still managed to hold his own against this guy. He certainly can do anything with the right motivation. e.g. eat a entire horse without blinking. The vicious exchange apparently went on for the entire duration of the ride. I wish I was present just typing the transcript of the conversation.

It would have ended there but... [Stay tuned to Taxi Adventures 2]